The Quality of Life Equals the Quality of Our Relationships

The Quality of Life Equals the Quality of Our Relationships, with Rev. Dr. Steven Koski. Series: What Makes For A Good Life? A Spacious Christianity, First Presbyterian Church of Bend, Oregon. Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.

Join us Sunday when Rev. Dr. Steven Koski discusses the importance of love and acceptance in relationships and how one might embrace others’ imperfections with patience, kindness, and grace.

Join us each Sunday, 10AM at bendfp.org, or 11AM KTVZ-CW Channel 612/12 in Bend.  Subscribe/Follow, and click the bell for alerts.

At First Presbyterian, you will meet people at many different places theologically and spiritually. And we love it that way. We want to be a place where our diversity brings us together and where conversation takes us all deeper in our understanding of God.

We call this kind of faith “Spacious Christianity.” We don’t ask anyone to sign creeds or statements of belief. The life of faith is about a way of being in the world and a faith that shows itself in love.

Thank you for your support of the mission of the First Presbyterian Church of Bend. Visit https://bendfp.org/giving/ for more information.

Keywords:

agnes, love, lloyd, organist, church, play, relationships, preacher, young man, paul, lives, michael, law, smiled, years, grace, carthage, feeling, hymns, sunday, presbyterian, church, online worship, bend, oregon

Featuring:

Rev. Dr. Steven Koski, Rev. Kally Elliott, Tyler McQuilkin, Becca Ellis, Brave of Heart, Guests

Transcript

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Welcome to worship at First Presbyterian, we at First Presbyterian practice of spacious Christianity, which means no matter where you are in your faith journey, you belong and there is space for you at the table. There is space for your doubts and questions. We believe doubts and questions are a gift that invite us into deeper conversations and a more authentic faith. We believe diversity is a strength every story is sacred and everybody matters. We do our best to live the spacious and radical love of Jesus so that all might have a chance to flourish in this world. We are so glad to connect with you in this way. We would also love to worship with you in person if you're ever in the neighborhood on Sunday mornings at 830 or 10am and never hesitate to reach out to us to learn more about us or how we might support you I hope you enjoy this worship service welcome. the writer Anne Lamott says I do not understand the mystery of grace. Only that grace meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us for our prayer confession we reflect on the love of God. We reflect on the love God has for us. The love we witnessed in Jesus, a love that is expansive and boundless. Love that is unconditional. Love that is accepting and gracious. A love that shares our pain and grief, a love that is with us. A love that never leaves us or forsakes us a love that is merciful. Tender, gentle, compassionate, a love that is patient and kind. Love that does not insist on its own way. A love that turns enemies into friends. A love that recreates renews and restores us to wholeness. A love that forgives and forgives and forgives and forgives again Oh God before your love for us. We confess we have not so loved each other. Forgive us as the psalmist said, Forgive, forgive Oh God all that binds us in fear that we might radiate love. cleanse our hearts oh god that your light might shine in and through us. Create in us clean hearts. Put a new and right spirit within us. Friends here the good news. You are forgiven. May we now release the energies of love and forgiveness into the world. Man. What makes a good life? Researchers at Harvard University have tried to answer that question. They conducted the longest study of happiness and wellbeing ever undertaken. They track the lives of nearly 800 people and their children and grandchildren for the past 80 years. And their research revealed that the number one factor that makes for a good life is the quality of our relationships. The quality of our relationships equals the quality of our lives. You know, I have the sacred privilege of spending time with people at the end of their lives. And I've never heard anyone say on their deathbed. You know, I wish I could go back to work and finish that one project or i i wish i could have one more vacation or I wish I could clean my house or I wish I could check my bank balance. What I hear expressed is gratitude for the relationships in their lives. Gratitude for who they love and and who loves them. If there are regrets you know, it's usually regretting not tending to those relationships. not forgiving Being more easily not being more generous and accepting of others, not loving well enough. We've been taught to view love, as mostly a feeling. Relationships have depth, texture, resilience. Understand that love is most importantly a choice, a daily commitment to the to do the hard and, and messy work of caring for one another. Often in spite of how we are feeling. LIFE GIVING relationships are not grounded in how we feel. LIFE GIVING relationships are grounded in the commitment to choose love, and extend grace in spite of how we might be feeling. Michael Lynnville writes about his experience of being a pastor in a small town in Minnesota, and in a wonderful piece called our organist. He tells about being a guest supply preacher for a tiny church in Carthage Lake Minnesota. Now, Carthage Lake hasn't had a minister of its own since 1939. But a handful of people hold on, and they gather one Sunday a month at noon, for worship with whatever preacher they can convince to come to Carthage Lake. The clerk of the congregation, Lloyd Larson tells pastor Lynnville that there are only 11 members, but they will all be there. And he promised an organist, the same organist Carthage Lake has been promising guests preachers for 60 years. Lloyd sister in law, Agnes Reese dead. The Sunday of being a guest preacher arrived. There were 12 worshipers including a young man scattered throughout the sanctuary sitting in their customary pews. Lloyd explained there was no bulletin, and the preacher just announces the hymns. Michael nodded to the organist with her with her wigs slightly askew, who responded with a broad smile. Worship began, Michael announced the opening hymn number 224 Spirit of God descend upon my heart. Ignis the organist smiled and, and played what a friend we have in Jesus. The 11 elderly members saying by memory, only the young man used to him though. Following the sermon, Michael announced the next him, love divine all loves excelling. He looked directly at Agnes who smiled and played. I love to tell the story. After the prayer and offering, Miko walked over to the Oregon, whispered Agnes. What are we going to sing? She smiled and began to play Amazing Grace. After worship, Agnes shook his hand. But she didn't say a word. Lloyd sheepishly explained. Yeah, forgot to tell you about Agnes. She only knows these three hymns. So that's what we sing. Good grief. Lloyd. You mean to tell me you've been singing the same three hymns for 60 years? And Lloyd said, Well, we like those hymns well enough and we know them by heart and, and she's, she's our organist. Later met Michael met the young man Neil Larsen, who was actually Lloyd's grandson, who explained to him Agnes. Agnes is my late grandmother's little sister, Lloyd's, my grandfather's sister in law. And Agnes has never been quite right. She never says more than a few words. But she learned to play those three hymns. In one week, 60 years ago, when the organist got sick. Anyway, she hasn't been able to learn one since. But playing the Oregon that's one Sunday a month means the world to her. You know, sometimes I think mostly, it's mostly for her that they keep the church open. Agnes honestly on Agnes lives for the first Sunday of the month. writing to the church at Corinth, the apostle Paul wrote these words I will show you a better way. You know, this church at Corinth, they were not acting like a church was was really supposed to act which means, which means they were acting like a church often acts. They were arguing, judging, gossiping, being petty and insisting on being right assuming the worst, not the best in one another. Other. So the apostle Paul wrote, If I spoke with tongues of angels, but if I had not love, I'm a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal, I can have faith strong enough to move mountains. But if I have not love, it means nothing. You know, this is one of the most most famous passages in the whole Bible read at countless number of weddings, I'm sure you've heard it at a wedding. But the words were actually never meant to be about romantic love or a sentimental love or they were never meant to be about the emotions of love. Paul is actually talking about the kind of the kind of love that is gritty, resilient, the kind of love that can endure all things. The Greek word used here for that kind of love is agape, the kind of love revealed in Jesus. And this is how Paul describes agape love. He said Love is patient, and kind. Love is not envious or boastful, arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way. Love is not irritable, keeps no score of wrongs. Love does not rejoice and wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, love believes all things, hopes all things. Love endures all things. know Paul is describing a way, a way of being in relationship that is reflected, reflective of the love of Jesus. He's not describing feelings or, or emotions. But choices you make, in spite of how you might be feeling you what I noticed in this description, did you notice there's a generosity of spirit. There's a grace. The words seem to invite us to assume the best and not the worst and others. Paul says Love does not insist on its own way. Now imagine a love that that accepts you for who you are. Imagine a love that that makes room for your flaws and imperfections. Imagine a love that that actually gives you the benefit of the doubt. Imagine a love that easily forgives in his generous. You know, I like to tell people who are new to First Presbyterian, that at some point, this church and the pastor's will let you down. It's a given that we will say or do something stupid and disappoint you. It's a given. Because we're human and imperfect. Your expectations will not be met. But I encourage you to decide now before that happens. To stick around after it happens. Because if you leave you'll miss the way God's grace comes in and fills the cracks left behind by our brokenness. What if conflict and disappointment didn't have to be the end of a relationship? But it was actually the beginning of a deeper a more authentic relationship? What if we actually learn to accept one another? As we are human imperfect? Rather than insisting people be who we think they should be? What if we were patient and kind and gave each other space to be imperfect? What if we always, always erred? On the side of grace and abundance of grace? You know, Jesus never insisted people change in order to be loved. Jesus loved people in their humaneness in their brokenness. He welcomed loved accepted people, as they were And as they experience the depth of that kind of love, it changed them. Do remember the story about the church in Carthage Lake. After greeting the 11 worshipers including Lloyd Larson and his sister in law, Agnes, the organist, Michael, the guest pastor and the lone young man. They lingered for a while. And this young man said, on Agnes lives for the first Sunday of the month. I think it's mostly for her, that they keep the church open. And then the young man went on to say, they actually asked me to play the organ, of course. I mean, they had to ask, but grandpa knew I'd say no, I remember how he sighed with a relief when I did say no. Then he slapped me on the back. You're an organist? The preacher asked. Yeah, Eastman School of Music class of 84. I've had some really big church jobs. The last one was down in Texas. It was a really large church, brand new Oregon, for services a Sunday. Then I got sick. I've been HIV positive for six years. The Personnel Committee of the church figured it out. The weight loss all the sick days not married. They told me it would be best if I moved on. My parents live in St. Paul, but my father and I haven't spoken since I was 19. And that's sick enough to to be in the hospital yet. And I'm just too tired most of the time. I really had nowhere else to go. My grandfather Lloyd said I can move in with him and Acas. You know, to tell the truth. I feel right at home in this quirky town of, of 80 year olds. I feel welcomed, accepted, loved. And then these young men paused and then he went on. He said they keep a Agnes and they took me in. And since I moved here most every night Lloyd or old men angstrom from down the road. They open up the church for me. If it's cold, they lay a fire in the woodstove. And then most evenings I play the organ. It's actually a sweet little instrument, believe it or not Lloyd's kept it up. And these last few weeks, it's been almost warm in the evening. So they they leave all of the church doors and the windows open. And everybody sits out on their front porch as they listen to me play Bach, Beethoven Veeder all the stuff that I love and they clap from their porches even a Agnes claps I must say it's a good life the Apostle Paul said Love bears all things believes all things hopes all things love endures all things faith hope and love abide these three and the greatest of these is love Amen Friends remember we don't leave our comfort zones and go where there's a need to make a difference. We go where there is a need to practice resurrection. Bringing life where there is death bringing hope. Where there is despair. So that we will be different. We go where there is need because that's where we will find Jesus. Go in the peace of Christ. May your life be good news. May your love bring peace to others. Thank you so much for joining us and we hope you enjoyed this worship service. If you would like to make a donation helping make these broadcasts possible or support the many ways First Presbyterian seeks to serve our community. You can make a financial gift online at bend F p.org. Every week we hear from someone thanking us for the gift of these broadcasts and what a difference they make. Your support makes that possible. Our church is committed to reach beyond our walls bringing hope where there is despair and love where it is needed the most. Your generous support helps us to be generous and love. Go to our website bend F p.org and click on the link give online. Your support is really appreciated and makes a difference in people's lives. Thanks again. I hope to see you next week.